No one has ever asked you if you are, frankly. You didn’t think you were ready yet, not for something so life changing. You’re afraid of the consequences of tonight, one day of thousands that is special for no other reason than your maturing. It stays unsaid, what you are to do tonight, although it doesn’t need to be put into words. The loud whispers and what they’ve got to say don’t even bother you all that much - it’s the stares that get to you, saying more than anything they whisper. The crowd bursts into applause when you perform a curtsy, avoiding all eye contact as long as you can. It would never be taken seriously, because it didn’t fit the way you are supposed to be, never could. No one ever asked you if it was what you wanted, and when you spoke your mind, nobody would listen. A helpless puppet abiding by the rules your mother whispered into your ear since you were old enough to understand reality. You aren’t looking for this kind of attention, for this forced formality you get suffocated by, but there’s nothing you can do. “Lady _!” A voice calls, one you can’t attach to a voice for you haven’t heard it before - it makes you feel uneasy, the smile on your face begins to fade away. They’re blind to your demurrer, a soft shout in the distance that tries to make them understand the weight of living this life, in vain. Then you’d be able to find what they call true love, chosen by other hands, those that don’t belong to you, don’t know your feelings. This was what you were destined to become the day you were born, a potential lover with chained hands and a meaningless smile, trying to hide what is left of yourself so badly to fit in. You were told so many times, that it’s but a simple task, one that was more important that any other nonetheless. Yet you can’t do more than do as you’re told and smile, for that is all you’re supposed to do. You’re a shadow of the girl you are supposed to be, a shadow wanting to stay away from the attention of their seeking eyes. You’re bound to chains that drag you down to the ground and your scream is but a silent whisper when it’s muffled by more mature hands.Ī large crowd of nameless faces, turning your way to look at you with curiosity about the girl this all is for, the one that wants this least of all. You’re not ready for this, the bright lights, the unfamiliarity of the situation that causes your fear for what is to come, but most of all the inability to decide about your own fate. The large white doors open, and your anxiety gathers up in your throat, making you feel sick when you see the dancing hall unfolds in front of you. “Now smile and hold your head up high,” the voice behind you says drowning with sternness and expectations. If there were a way for you to escape responsibility, you’d gladly accept, whatever the consequences might be.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |